


Healing (Because Gotham's Winter Hurt You)

by FearfulKitten



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Titans (Comics)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst and Feels, Based on a Tumblr Post, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Cold, Cold Weather, Crying, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Gen, Good Friend Roy Harper, Heavy Angst, Hurt Dick Grayson, Hypothermia, Men Crying, Mental Breakdown, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Child Neglect, Protective Roy Harper, its actually a tumblr fic but i rlly wanted to use that tag lol, no beta we die like robins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 10:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27968972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FearfulKitten/pseuds/FearfulKitten
Summary: “But... that’s just wrong.” Roy says, staring at Dick with concern.Dick shrugs.“He didn’t notice.”“Well, he fucking should have.”Based off of this: https://catxsnow.tumblr.com/post/634818000545021952/gotham-winters-are-cold-like-really-cold-cold-to  (By @catxsnow on tumblr)
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Roy Harper
Comments: 13
Kudos: 191





	Healing (Because Gotham's Winter Hurt You)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! If you haven't seen the post linked, please do before you read this work, or it might not make too much sense. It's 1000% worth the read.  
> Also, be kind if you choose to comment, please. This is very personal and feels very raw. I wrote all of it down in one go and decided not to add anything to it after it was done, so it's all rather emotional to me.  
> All that said, I hope you enjoy it!

“But... that’s just wrong.” Roy says, staring at Dick with concern.

Dick shrugs.

“He didn’t notice.”

“Well, he fucking should have.” Roy frowns, exasperated. He never wanted to break Batman’s face as much as he did now.

“I was the one that insisted on the uniform Roy.” Dick says “I should’ve just thought about that.”

“You were  _ nine _ .” Roy shoots back “And you hadn’t even spent an entire year in Gotham to know what it’s winters are like.”

“I was smart enough to know that winters are cold.” Dick stares back at his friend “Besides, if I didn’t say anything it’s because I could take it.”

The redhead almost feels tears welling up in his eyes from how angry, frustrated, and scared he was for his friend. But he pushed those away; this wasn’t about him. He’d have time to cry and yell when he was alone in his room. He could put all of his frustrations into arrows and shoot them off into dummies during training. Right now, this was about Dick.

Roy reached across the table to hold his friends hand.

“ _ He’s just such a little soldier, this one _ .” Jason’s voice popped up in his memories “ _ He never sees how wrong Bruce is, all of the time. Would probably die for the man. _ ”

Dick didn’t hold his hand, but he wasn’t pushing it away.

The acrobat’s eyes dropped to the ground.

“He didn’t mean it, he just never noticed it Roy.” He mumbles “He didn’t... It’s not his fault. He’s not a bad man. He’s not. He’s Batman, he  _ can’t _ be a bad man.”

Even from the distance, Roy could see the wetness in Dick’s eyes.

“Dickie,” He calls “Dickie, look at me.” Dick shakes his head, like a stubborn child “Please.” Roy says in a softer voice.

He couldn’t just allow his friend to suffer like that.

He couldn’t let his friend keep on believing the ugly lies he had told himself.

Slowly, Dick peels his gaze from the floor and his sapphire eyes meet Roy’s. He was wrecked, just as much as he usually was; little cuts and bruises still healing from the fights, cheeks beginning to hollow from how little he had been eating and dark eye bags from the lack of sleep – and maybe lack of iron in his diet. But now, now there was another, brand new layer of mess. Now there were tears, threatening to spill out.

“It wasn’t his fault.” He still mumbles, and Roy couldn’t help but notice the ugly strands of saliva that clung to his friends lips as he spoke. The redhead wondered when was the last time he had eaten today.

“Dick-”

“It wasn’t... It  _ can’t _ be his fault Roy.” Dick sobs, but he’s holding Roy’s hand now. Roy’s thumb slid gently across his friend's skin, feeling a scar from a small cut that had healed weird “It can’t...”

Roy could understand what he was trying to say.

_ It wasn’t his fault, because if it was his fault, every single certainty I had in this life will crumble right in front of my eyes. _

That’s what Dick was feeling.

And it broke Roy’s heart that he’d be the one to kick down the first block of a painful domino trail.

But there was no one else there to do it.

Roy walks around the table they were sitting, not letting go of Dick’s hand for a second until he was close enough to pull him into a hug, shielding him from the world, hoping that this would make things easier for his friend.

“Dick. He should’ve noticed.” He says, pulling back to look at Dick, really  _ look _ at him for the first time in some time. Dick looks down and shakes his head so Roy nods to contradicts his movements “Yes, yes he should have.”

“No, I-I should’ve said something, he wasn’t a mind reader, it’s not-”

“Dick, you were  _ nine _ and he was  _ your father _ .” Roy grabs his shoulder gently, trying to get Dick to look at him again.

“He just... you can’t blame him for... he just didn’t see it, it’s not like he was beating me...”

“Yes, but that’s still bad.” Roy insists “You understand how it’s still bad, right?” Dick still shakes his head “I need you to understand that, Dick. I need you to try to understand that this was bad.”

“I was just cold, it’s not that big of a deal-”

“Dick, you had hypothermia. Several times.” Roy says “It was a big deal.”

“No, no, it’s fine, I survived, and I’m stronger now, I’m-”

“Dick,” Roy grabs him harder now, almost desperate “It’s still bad. It shouldn’t have happened.”

“It’s not like he was actively abusing me, Roy.” Dick mumbles.

“Neglect is still abuse, Dick.” Roy says softly.

The silence in the room is palpable.

If one was to bring a butter knife to the room, one would’ve been able to slice through it and spread on toast.

“Dick. Neglect is still abuse.” Roy repeats.

“I-I,” Dick sobs, loudly “I know.”

The acrobat’s shoulders shake violently with the tears, rising and falling in a way that seems almost painful. Roy was grateful he was the one that had been there to talk to Dick. None of the other Titans, with the exception of Donna Troy, would have been able to handle this, and surely none of the bats. Dick rarely cried, but when he did, it was ugly and uncontrollable. Years of repressed tears falling out, screams ripping through his throat in an attempt to push out the pain he felt, drool staining faces and clothes, snot down his chin until his body gave out and he became a limp shell of a man, sometimes for a day or two before he could properly recover.

_ How’s all this repression working out for you, Batsy? _

Roy pulled him into a tight hug.

“I know.” Dick mumbles between sobs “I know, I know. I know.”

Roy simply held him tighter, feeling Dick clinging to his clothes, fingers trying to grasp something, anything at all to support himself as he tried desperately to disappear, to melt into Roy’s chest, to become a puddle and be promptly cleaned by his surprisingly neat team. Of course, he couldn’t find enough support for that, and he fell from his chair, bringing Roy down with him. He still clung to the man, mumbling incoherent apologies.

“Shhh... it’s fine...” Roy tries to calm him down, fingers running through his hair and a firm hand on his back “It’s fine. I’m here, just let it out Dick. Let it out.”

And Dick does just that. Not by choice, but because the dam had already burst and it would take him some time before he could build the wall back up.

Roy wishes he could turn that dam into a river so bad.

Dick cries for what feels like an eternity, and it’s still not enough. He screamed into Roy’s chest for way too long, until his throat was hoarse and there was no way someone in the building didn’t know what was going on. Dick didn’t care, he  _ couldn’t _ care, his mind just didn’t register it. And Roy didn’t care either, because there was no shame in this. Because if this was the first step towards Dick’s healing then whatever discomfort that may linger in the tower was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, consider following me on tumblr. @fearfulkittenwrites for my writing blog and @fearful-kitten01 for my personal stuff!  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Ily, stay safe and healthy out there! <3


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